This is Aizhana’s translation of the post written by Aiman, our contributor from Uralsk, about the myths that surround the foreingers in Aksai, Karachaganak Field in the West Kazakhstan.

Once, in winter, I was riding in a “marshrutka” (a minibus) from Aksay to Uralsk, the spot I got was perfect; it was beside the driver and beside the heater, I could stretch my legs, and the people in a car with me were pretty interesting. You have to admit that when you travel with interesting people, the time runs faster, and since I am a sociable person, I will never refuse a good conversation with people. The driver was a young man, Kazakh, of pleasant appearance, with warm smile. Playfully, with jokes and introductions, he collected payment from the passengers, and we were on our way.

A young girl sat between me and the driver, on the front seat, with light make-up and without a hat. Judging by her huge back-pack, I figured that she is a student. A conversation started because I automatically started to fasten myself with a seatbelt. In international company where I happen to work it’s an essential rule and not obeying it could cost you your job. Now it became a habit, besides, winter road isn’t very safe, especially when you sit in the front. The driver, observing my not very skillful way with the seatbelt laughed and asked: “You probably work at KPO (Karachaganak Petroleum Operating)?”. I nodded my head and he continued: “Well, yeah, everybody who works there uses a seat-belt, even in our mini-buses”.

Then, I had to listen to more of the driver’s stories of how hilarious and weird the foreigners are, and how they “bamboozle” the local personnel. I decided not to argue with him, because that’s not a very grateful doing, you can’t prove to everyone that the safety-belt in a car isn’t just for decoration. For about five more minutes he was telling us stories that he heard from people who work in KPO or SSS-Saipem (the Arab company, built the Gas Processing Complex). The driver, apparently, didn’t even know that in principle, these are two different organizations, in content and contingent. But the story isn’t about him; it’s about a girl, who was sitting next to me. Like thunder in clear sky she began to chatter with slender voice. She was quiet and pretended that she wasn’t interested in the driver’s talking for a long time, then, suddenly she laid down a sacramental phrase: “Foreigners are better than Kazakhs and Russians, they are polite and well mannered, they don’t know how to swear and don’t steal!” To say that I was taken aback isn’t even going to cover it. With astonishment, I was examining her face, and wondering where she came from. I wanted to answer, but she continued: “they even treat women better, than the Soviet men; I wish to marry a foreigner”.

I’ve worked in KPO for a long time, and I came across a lot of different people while working there. There are a lot of people who “assign” almost “godly” assets to the foreigners, but the kind of “miracle” like that girl in a mini-bus, I’ve seen for the first time. I tend to think that that kind of opinion exists because of the prolonged closeness of USSR. Many thought that “there” they live better because they are smarter or better than us. Many thought and assumed that alcoholism is a thing inherent only to us, and that stealing exists only here, because we are poorer.

I honestly tried to scatter some of that girl’s stereotypes, but I wasn’t successful. I hope that she learns from life, because, sometimes, only your own experience can open your eyes on some things. The driver tried to argue with her for quite some time, but somewhere by Burlin he got tired of it, and we rode on in silence which seemed abnormal. In a strange way, complete strangers who just happened to ride in the same car for a couple of hours, had time to diversify in opinions, to argue and get mad at each other, and now sat, frowning at each other, like little children who couldn’t equally divide the doughnuts.

That winter was a long time ago, but that girl is still in my head, like a picture. I still remember her words, and understand that such “naiveties” still occur in our life. I wish to scatter all our girls’ and women’s stereotypes and to warn them against wrong “steps”. My head can only think for myself, and I can only tell how I scattered some of the stereotypes for myself and my relatives.

First Myth: They are all rich there
It’s not a secret that the average level of profit in Europe is considerably higher than in our country, that’s why even a middle-status foreigner can allow himself some excesses when he is here, which he won’t be able to allow himself when he is in his country. Their salary depends a lot on prices, and with the increase of pension their prices also grow (just like here). I see how neatly and carefully my husband tries to plan our expenses, so we’ll have enough for everything, and won’t have to “make ends meet” at the end of the month. And I see how hard it can be for him when we go over our expenses limit or when we have some unexpected expenses.

But, let’s not talk about how they live there; let’s talk about how they are taken here. I’m going to tell you a true story about my experience, how my huge family met my future husband. It was like a masquerade, which we didn’t even know was going to happen. The adversity was divided into a couple of steps; first step was our Kazakh hospitality with all the out coming traditions.

My husband didn’t even suspect it was possible to eat, drink and not sleep in such amounts and so often. At first he really liked eating with his hands, say toasts and “cheers”, and just sit there, smile and practice his little knowledge of Russian language. But just imagine his astonishment when my mom set the table again at 2 o’clock in the morning and once again, they started to say toasts, drink and sing! He was sick a whole week afterwards, from indigestion and a huge amount of vodka.

About him being taken from house to house and meeting countless relatives is a totally different story, but the funny thing is, they decided to get him to pay “kalym”. For some reason, my relatives decided that I’m getting married to a millionaire and asked him to pay “kalym” with a helicopter, for grandpa, since he is old and a veteran of World War II and apparently it’s hard for him to take a bus. For you, it may be funny, but it wasn’t funny for my relatives, and especially for my grandpa who really hoped to “sell” his granddaughter for a helicopter. And then I understood that I have to save my future husband from the “claws” of my relatives, or else something not very good might happen. When my grandpa found out that he won’t get a helicopter, and that a maximum on what my relatives can count on is a bicycle, they were really upset, and didn’t even try to hide it.

Second Myth: They eat and drink something special
When my aunt found out that a foreigner is coming to visit, she started panicking, and the first question she asked was: “What does he like to eat”. I asked her not to worry about it, and just serve “normal” food. When we came, everybody looked at him like he was some sort of exotic bird or something. Everybody tried to touch and feel him, and what do you expect? It’s the first time they see a foreigner, live! They also with curiosity watched him eat foods that were on the table. First thing that my aunt asked me was: “Did you starve him?” Afterwards, she said that she was really worried that she might not meet her foreign son-in-law properly. One of the myths that foreigners eat something special was scattered, and I am very glad. Now, when we visit my relatives, they don’t worry about food that much.

Third myth: They know limits and don’t know what “halyava” (a free ride) is
Dear Ladies! Foreigners drink, I can guarantee you that! And they love to drink “na halyavu” (for free), love to drink a lot, and love vodka, because that vodka that they have in their stores has only a sad little hint on our vodka, because it is inferior to the taste qualities of our vodka.

The word “halyava” was made up by Russians, but it gets a special sense by foreigners. My foreign colleagues, hearing the word “halyava” smile and start drinking as much as they can, just like our men. When Kazakhs and foreigners get really drunk, they can understand each other without a translator. I’ve seen it happen a lot of times, but the funniest time was when my cousins got their brother-in-law really drunk with vodka and beer. When he came home, he could barely stand up, but he could clearly talk and asked me “kal kalai?” (“how are you” in Kazakh) and not waiting for my answer answered himself: “zhaksy!” (“good!”). He also learned a new Russian phrase: “Beer without vodka is wasted money!”

There are a lot of myths about foreigners and their lifestyles, and, sadly because of the inability to “see the world” our people look at them as something invincible. There are a lot of stereotypes; a lot of them started a long time ago, at a time of Soviet Union and you can’t do anything about them. Remembering that girl from the mini-bus, I think about how many young girls coming to Aksay hope to find their happiness with a foreigner, some do, some, find disappointment, and some, like me, understand that in the end it’s important to be happy.

There still a lot that differ a Kazakh person from a foreigner, but when I look at my husband, I see not a foreigner, but a person with whom I want to live my life and see him everyday. He is a father of our child and a loving person, and I hope he is happy with me, and doesn’t think of me like I’m someone different because I’m a foreigner. After all, the most important thing is, to find your happiness and not to search for some mythical foreigner, because a foreigner, no matter how foreign he is, is still a person who just wants to be loved.